Sometimes I have a specific spiritual experience. In this experience I come to have a sudden realization of the total pile of garbage that I really am. As a friend has told me time and time again, that you realize that you are nothing more than a wart on the backside of a hog. Seriously, when you truly recognize the gospel, and the 'bigness' of God, you realize that you are nothing.
Outside of a biblically foundational world view, this experience can be startling and hurtful. By worldly standards, this can be devastating, and entire lives are spent trying to 'recondition our psyche' to recognize our self worth and to grow our self esteem. But as a Christian, soon after this realization strikes, the real struggle begins That struggle is to use the experience or realization that God has allowed me to have (or has actually engineered) and to use it for good. We struggle against using it for our benefit, vs., allowing the enemy to use it to his advantage by bringing discouragement into our lives and pointing us towards a reality that does not exist: The one in which we are strong without Christ. Because that 'reality' does not exist.
Jesus is the infinite, loving caring God, who left total perfection in heaven to suffer for ME. As author Dick Staub wrote in his book Too Christian, Too Pagan; How to Love the World without Falling For it, "Few of us know what it really means to actually love the world with the kind of passionate , visionary love that sent Jesus from the heights of holiness into the depths of a sin-sick culture".
I journaled this a few weeks back:
"I'm fairly positive that it is impossible for us to understand our universal insignificance. In light of all that surrounds us, the endless mass of the universe, we are but a speck. We get a minor glimpse of this understanding when we are flying from place to place. At 30K feet everything is small, 'those cars look like ants' we have all said before. When we see pictures taken by the Hubble Telescope where in vast outer space galaxies are colliding like marbles on the floor, we get a glimpse of it. When we see these things, it brings some pause. But in spite of my significance, the God who created all that we see and all that we do not, the God that dwells in perfection, holiness, peace, constant love and in a place that can only be defined as Paradise, left all that comfort and perfection to become a human Himself ~ just to show me that such an infinite God can love low-life pieces of garbage, little specs like me as well."
After all, we are HIS specs and pieces of garbage aren't we?….
The problem here is that this runs in direct opposition to worldly understanding. Freud and Spock (the psychologist, not the Vulcan) tell us just the opposite. Dr. Ruth relating everything to the physical, and all of modern psychology tells us that we need high self esteem. Oprah has lived her life to make sure everyone knows that they too are to look at themselves and see how successful they are. Now she 'preaches' that we too can be gods, and that there are many ways to heaven outside of Christian dogma.
God loves us as specks and garbage. While we were yet sinners He left perfection to take on sin and die for us. We cannot do that. No 'man' can do that. Only a perfect man/God can accomplish what was required for our salvation. In light of that, we are insignificant, and just specs, or dirty rags. But to God we are SIGNIFICANT, because we are HIS.
Abba, we are failures, sinners all of us, but we sure love you. Take what worthless thanks we can offer you; our love and our lives.