The One

And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land called America , having lost their morals, their initiative, and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that person
known as "The One".

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you. My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with evil doers are of no consequence. For I shall save you with Hope and Change.

Go yee, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who precedeth me is evil, that he has defiled thy nation, and that all he has built must be destroyed."

And the people rejoiced, for even though they knew not what "The One" would do, he had promised that it was to be good; and they believed.

And "The One" said "We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!"
And the people said, "Hallelujah! Change is good!"

Then He said, "We are going to tax the rich fat-cats."
And the people said "Sock it to them!"
And "The One" continued and speaketh, "And redistribute their wealth."
And the people said, "Show us the money!"
And then He said, "Redistribution of wealth is good for everybody"

And the people responded, "AMEN! AMEN!"

And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me? You're going to steal my money and give it to the deadbeats?" And "The One" ridiculed and taunted poor Joe, and Joe's personal records were hacked and publicized, and he was systematically discredited in front of thine people.

One lone reporter asketh, "Isn't that Marxist policy?"
And she was banished from the kingdom forever, to be separated from thine wealth of redistribution, and forced to report for ever more on Joe the Plumber!

Then a peasant asked, "With thou having no foreign relations experience and thou having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with radical terrorists?"
And "The One" responded by saying, "Simple. I shall sit with thine enemies and talk with thine enemies and show them how nice we really are; they shall then forget that they ever wanted to kill us all! And they shalt forget that thine enemy has deemed you the Infidel and that because thou aren't Muslim, thy must be slaughtered by the sword"
And the people said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for the people!"

Then "The One" said, "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes."
And one, lone voice said, "But 40% of us don't pay ANY taxes."
So "The One" said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!"
And the people said, "Hallelujah!! Show us the money!"
Then "The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell your homes!"
And the people yawned and the slumping housing market collapsed.
And He said, "I shalt mandate employer- funded health care for EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every person unlimited healthcare and medicine and transportation to thine free clinics."

And the people said, "Gimme me some 'a dat!"

Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas."
And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"

Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and electricity rates will skyrocket!"
And the people said, "Coal is dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part about higher electric rates."

So "The One" said, "Not to worry. If your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out. Just sign up with ACORN as many times as you like, and your troubles are over!" Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let's grant them amnesty, Social Security,
free education, free lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing..."

And the people said, "Hallelujah!!" And they made him King!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto a rock dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support.

Then "The One" said, "I am the "The One" - The Messiah - and I'm here to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have enough!"
But our foreign trading partners said unto Him, "Wait a minute man! Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have to pay more..."

And the people said, "Wait a minute man! That is unfair!!"

And the world said, "Neither are these other idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!"

And the people cried out, "Alas, alas!! What have we done?"
But yea verily, it was too late. The people laid hands upon "The One" and spat upon him and stoned him, and his name was like dung in the mouth of all people.

And the once mighty nation was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or shelter or hope. And the Change "The One" had given them was likened unto a poison in thine mouth that hath destroyed them and like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had built.

And the people beat their chests, tore thine cloths, and wrapped themselves in sackcloth and ashes in despair and cried out in anguish, "Give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!"

But it was too late, and their homeland was no more.